A couple of days ago, I turned 35! 🎉
I’ve always had a thing for certain ages: 18, 21, 23, 25, 28, 30, 32, and now, 35. I can't quite explain why, but these ages have always felt like milestones to me. Interestingly enough, significant life events always seem to align with these ages.
So, what happens after 35? Honestly, I've never really racked my brain beyond this age. I see this age as a turning point—an opportunity to recreate myself, to shift my focus, and to embrace new possibilities.
Now, onto the reason you’re here: this is a continuation of my earlier post, 32 Life Lessons at 32. This time, I’m bringing you 35 life lessons—some of them may contradict what I’ve said before, but that’s the beauty of growth. It’s all about evolving.
As usual, these lessons are based on my own experiences, and I know my perspective will keep shifting as I continue to grow. That’s part of the excitement. My next Life Lessons post will probably be at 38, and I’m curious to see how my thoughts will evolve by then.
Before we dive in, unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders, sit up straight, wiggle your toes, take a deep breath, and lock in.
Ready? Let's go!
- Learn to confidently say, 'I don't know'.
- There is a fine line between being selfless and being a people pleaser.
- Sometimes, just answer the question you're asked—nothing more, nothing less.
- Everyone suffers, but not everyone experiences the same pain.
- Nobody thinks about you as much as you think about yourself.
- Ultimately, you will become what you think of yourself.
- Confidence doesn't always come from an expectation of success—it can come from comfort with failure. The more comfortable you are with the possibility of failing, the more confident you'll be in taking risks.
- Life is all about making only two people proud: your childhood self and your future self. Balance it out. Don't neglect your inner child when it comes to your interests, and always undertake challenges or make decisions that your future self will benefit from.
- The most satisfaction you'll get in any journey is when you do hard things to impress yourself, not others. If no one else claps for you, will you still be happy with your performance? The answer should be yes if you're focused on impressing yourself.
- Before embarking on a learning journey, take time to understand how you learn. This will save you years of agony, money, and time.
- Get into the habit of telling yourself (verbally) that you will be okay. Avoid overly listening to yourself and spend time talking to yourself. You can't always control your thoughts, but you have full control of what you say to yourself.
- Going a level deeper than headlines is good for your mental health.
- As you consume content, train yourself to always ask, "is this actually true?" Don't settle for agreeing just because "experts" or the majority say so. Seek out evidence, question assumptions, and get comfortable with uncertainty. In a world full of misinformation, your critical thinking is your best defense.
- The majority is usually right in principle but often wrong in execution. Just because a lot of people believe something doesn't mean they know how to do it correctly. Trust your gut when it comes to execution.
- Becoming a victim is out of your control; staying one is within your control. While you can't always prevent what happens to you, you can choose how you respond and whether you let it define you.
- Treat critics like a storm—acknowledge their presence, learn what you can, but don't let them derail you. Weather them out, knowing they'll eventually pass.
- The road to failure is lined with really good excuses for why things didn't work out as planned. Learn from the setbacks, but avoid the trap of constantly justifying shortcomings—they may sound valid, but they're still just excuses.
- If you define your life solely by the professional goals you've set for yourself, you're likely to become miserable. Why? Because life happens.
- I've found that viewing work like a movie set can ease anxiety. You're the star, choosing your role each day. Play your character well, with integrity, and have fun while you're at it. Trust me, we’re all paid actors to an extent, but the connections we make can be real and genuine.
- No company is perfect. Each company will have its own set of unique problems. So instead of trying to look for a problem-free company, you should focus on understanding what problems you can tolerate.
- Sometimes you may think your job is super easy because you've truly mastered it and aren't appreciating the journey it took you to get to where you are. Don’t take all the work and effort that you’ve put in for granted.
- We don't live in a perfect society. You will likely have to do things that don't align with your personality or goals, but instead of resisting, you should look at these as stepping stones on the path to doing what you truly want.
- Watch out for the habits that appear to be very ‘healthy' at face value. Instead of always focusing on adding new habits, try interrogating your existing routines. You may find that rethinking what you already do daily could benefit you more than struggling to adopt something new.
- Whenever you feel the weight of the world, take a nap. Problems at work? Nap. Significant other frustrating you? Nap. Rent is due and you're low on funds? Nap. Don’t ask questions. Just nap.
- Sometimes, you may fall out with people as you get older, and they may claim that you've changed even though you haven't. Their expectations of you may have changed, and that's okay.
- Serious relationships where the other person values you less than you value yourself are likely to fail. This principle must go both ways. The person you love should see your worth even more clearly than you do.
- It's not always a good idea to speak the way you think. How you process things is unique to you, but how you communicate should be based on your audience.
- Being reliable isn't about always saying yes or meeting every expectation. It's about following through when you commit and communicating clearly when you can't. True reliability is built on consistency and honest communication, not endless accommodation.
- Never let people shame you into caring less about something that adds value to your life, as long as it doesn't harm others.
- The day you understand, accept, and become comfortable with your own hypocrisy is the day you take a step toward finding true peace. We're all walking contradictions, evolving as our beliefs and actions change over time.
- Study your heroes beyond their successes—their flaws and failures are equally instructive. This insight manages envy by showing success is often limited to one sphere, and choosing someone else's life means accepting their shortcomings too.
- The longer you prepare to undertake a challenging task, the higher the chances of being discouraged from doing it. Sometimes, you just need to jump in before you talk yourself out of it.
- Your goal in life is to continuously increase your surface area of luck. Luck isn't just random—it's something you can influence by putting yourself out there and taking risks. Always ask if a key decision is increasing your surface area of luck or not.
- There will always be an edge case. Don't let it be the thing that holds you back. Every situation has that one anomaly, but if you focus too much on it, you'll miss the bigger picture.
- Continuously complaining about something without making a change is a coping mechanism. It's a way to suppress the fear of deciding to change your situation. If you're unhappy, make a move, don't just complain.
And because I like to break my own rules:
- As an entrepreneur, avoid tailoring your services to please expert bystanders—they're often the loudest critics but rarely your core customers. Your focus should be on providing services or creating products that your actual customers love, not on seeking approval from those who don't even use what you offer. Experts can offer valuable insights, but don't let their opinions stop you from taking risks and building what truly reflects your vision.
- Being ignorant about the hardships you will endure when you undertake a new venture is a superpower. Optimistic delusion can be a superpower. Embrace it, but couple it with continuous learning.
- Life hack: Push hard in November, rest in December, and let January be a month of exploration—ignore the pressure to plan and just do what excites you. Focus on constructive things that make you happy, then kickstart your year in February.
- Don't dismiss wisdom just because it sounds cliché. The best advice is usually simple, not because it's easy, but because it's timeless. Its power lies in your willingness to apply it.
To close off:
- Not everything in life is a lesson. Sometimes shit happens, you move on, and you forget about it. Some events are just random occurrences or part of someone else's story—they don't need to be about you. Accept it and keep moving forward.
Happy Birthday to me :-)
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